I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
