when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
