i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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