if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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