Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
