She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The Olympian is in my bed
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