What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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