she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
