Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
