nut hugger
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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