Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
