No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He did a backflip because drugs
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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