worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
