is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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