random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
