Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
