I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
