i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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