1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
