this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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