i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
