Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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