which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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