Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
