you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
