you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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