Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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