I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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