I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
