I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
