bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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