used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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