So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
