I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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