I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
one might say we're banned from that church
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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