Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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