On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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