hotel room ftw
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
