Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
