A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
How does it feel to date your dad?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
