lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
