I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
