Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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