you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
