the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
