A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
