I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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