I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
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