I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
