i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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