So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
