I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
