Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
