I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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