CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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