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Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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