everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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