For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
So. Much. Porn.
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