mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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