You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
